I'm lost and angry and sad and want to rampage from here to Australia. Will someone please save me?

Corey is gone.

So I obviously want to be.

I talked to my Mom about temporarily dropping out of school. She said, "You know you'll never go back." I thought I was more important than a piece of paper proclaiming my diligence for the past 6 years. I guess I was wrong.

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Dear God,

I'm so scared. For three years I've headed down the same road, and I assumed at the end would lead to great happiness. What happens when the end of the road isn't what you want anymore? And what about the path you've wandered down for a year and half and it abruptly ends? Do I sit on my suitcase and cry? Do I turn around and find another path? What if I like this path? Can I sit at the end and maybe if I stare at it long enough, it will expand? Do I pray?

Yes, I pray. I pray for you to take this pain, fear, doubt, anger.... away. I can't get away from any of it. Please God, I need such tremendous amounts of help, and you're really the only one who can sufficiently provide it.

Please help Corey too, as he is as lost as I am. I wish I had the answers. I wish he'd love me back. I wish I could absorb his pain and make it my own so that he could continue with life.... Someone told me today that that's what love is.

And I do. I love him so much. I honor him, adore him, love him, look up to him.

So hear my plea, Lord. Stitch this gushing wound closed. There are only so many hours in a day that I can cry before I totally break, and I feel that's all I do anymore is cry. Thinking about crying makes me cry.

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I cannot accept;
And the wisdom to know the difference.

...Please help me, God. If you're there....