"One should never judge a book by its cover" says the over used phrase. I'm not so sure. There are always circumstances where the situation completely warrants it. For example:

"Gee, that dog looks rabid. Ah well, I don't know that for certain! I'll just give him a nice, love pat."

Darwin Award material.

When I began working at the Park Place a year and a half ago, I was escorted around by a girl named Jill. Jill was a slender, blonde girl who was in all manners, quite breath-taking. If there would be a single thing I would have to say she really taught me, it would have to be - sigh... not to judge a book by its cover. The thought never crossed my mind that I would someday find a friend in Jill, especially one I could count on so heavily.

Our friendship would build over several (hundred) cups of coffee and would hang in the smoky haze above our heads as we took hits from our Camels and Marlboro Lights. It was slow going at first. We would comment on each other's hair. Next, she would notice that my socks would never match. Whether it was negative or positive, when she had a word to say I would listen. After a short while, I found myself wanting her to talk just so I could listen.

And whenever I needed her, she was there to offer well worn advice and a sympathetic ear.

Now as I reflect through this hectic (and emensely enjoyable) 18 months at the Park Place, I can't imagine what it would have been like without Jill sneaking around somewhere (usually with me).

I dread the thought of going a week without seeing my friend.

She's the first person I really talked to. On my first day I relied so heavily on her. Now that Alain is gone, she's relying on me. It's an honor.

Jill: Tonight when you said "Steph, thanks for being such a good friend", that was one of the greatest things anyone has ever said to me. I want to thank you right back.

I want you to know that you are a beautiful person, inside and out. Your personality sparkles and completely dazzles me. You are strong! You are confident! You can do it with or without Alain! YOU ARE A STAR!

I was suffocating. Not a breath passed my lips. I felt tired. My movements were jerky. "I have to get upstairs," I thought desperately. "There's not much time."

As quickly as I could, I went up the stairs, heart pounding; lungs collapsing. Surely I was about to pass out from lack of oxygen. Just a little farther. Only a tiny bit farther....

Quietly I removed it from my hiding place. I sat on the toilet seat, breathing heavily, but not seeming to get nearly enough air into my barren lungs.

"Do it!" She screamed.

Not hesitating a beat I listened to her, gliding the sharp, silver hotness over my arms.

My lungs filled.

I sat there exhausted, gasping for this newly found air that surrounded me. I shivered suddenly as my muscles turned cold. My arms however were a different story. Warm with crimson liquid, I started down at them as my breath caught itself in my throat.

She knows me. She's my best friend and my worst enemy. Recently I had the feeling that she had gone away and left me here to pick up the shattered pieces of my life.

No. I smiled to myself. I felt a warm hand on my frigid fingers. "Still here." She said softly.

She was right. She's right here... and she always will be. With her grace to watch over me and a soft light to guide me, she'll weather me through this.

Welcome back, my lady of peace. Now is where the real adventure shall begin.

It's an awkward silence that settles over us.

"I'm sorry. I love him"

"You what? No, no, no, Miss Jones. You can't love him." He sputtered clumsily.

She stared daggers deeply into his eyes. "Do you dare tell me what I can and cannot do? Are you telling me that now all has been said and done, I am to revoke all sense of dignity and independence for someone like you? No. I am finished with the fights. I am finished with the lies. I am finished with the pain. Most of all Wesley Bishop? I am finished with you."

His eyes held malice, yet I saw also all the sadness of the world. "Just one last kiss, I beg." He said to me, reaching for my ice cold hand.

I backed slowly away in disgust. "No, and never again." I thought of throwing in some spiteful comment. Something along the lines of 'You arogant pig'. I held my ground and my pride. I was not about to lower myself to that cretin's level.