Annie Jones on: Distance

Distance gets the better of you.

I know I'm simply setting myself up for complete and udder disappointment when I return, but the thing that keeps me going when I hear bad news from the USA, is I can pretend. I can close my eyes and totally absorb myself in the world I have here. To me Michigan, Traverse City, and even Central High doesn't exist. It can be just a dream. I went there once. I won't be going back.

It's just like what Argentina was like before I came, some illusion I made up in my head. I didn't know what it was like, yet still I ran so blindly towards it. And where am I now? Córdoba Capital, Barrio Jardín, Argentina. At my host home, typing this at 3:30 in the morning.

So what am I saying? I'm not quite so sure myself in reality. It's not that I'm not happy to hear from everybody back there in the snowbelt, because I am. I love hearing about it whether it be good or bad.

I guess I'm already trying to soothe the pain of leaving this place. I'm 4 months in, and I never want to leave. I want to lived the rest of my days in a flat with my husband and children.

Looking too far into the future, I know. I haven't even been accepted into university here yet.

By the way, I'm applying for University of Córdoba.

I cried when I got my letter that said I was accepted into Rotary, because I was told not to expect anything because of my history of depression and self-mutilation.

I made it though, didn't I? Even after I was accepted and still tried to die. I lived. All part of the big plan I suppose. Just gotta see where it goes.

I wish I'd hear from Mina though.