Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of my boyfriend's life. It is the day he has been waiting for for several years. I'm very proud of him, and at 3:oo pm tomorrow afternoon, I will be sitting in an overcrowded auditorium watching him recieve his diploma. How neat.

I'm trying to find the most graceful way to avoid his mother at all costs. His mother is a firm believer that good things cannot come in colorful packages, so that makes me no higher than the dirt she sweeps off her spotless kitchen floor. I guess I see Ben for what he is. He's not a young child anymore. To me he has responsibilities as well as liberties, and if he ends up shorting on one, the other will be cut too. We're not talking about Ben staying out until 5 in the morning, or even 1 am for that matter, but the thought that this responsible adult is never allowed to stay out past 11 pm (regardless of school being in session) or even stay in his room with the door shut is absolutely ridiculous.

So that is why I won't be having dinner with his family tomorrow night at their house. I expressed my concerns with Ben, and he told me we could have our own time (and dinner) together. That sounded much better. I'm not keen on crying in front of this woman after she asks me if I'm happy with her son (This happened the other night. I was able to keep my cool until I excused myself to go to the bathroom. I went upstairs instead to crash onto Ben's bed and sob into is pillow.).

So I went grocery shopping at midnight or so to pick up some ingredients for his favorite meal. My only concern is the surprise element of the evening; a homemade apple pie that I am making from scratch. Baking is a labor of love, born from one's desire to communicate feelings to another that cannot be described with words. Apple pie is Ben's favorite food, and I don't want to mess it up. This damn pie is going to drive me insane. It's a fucking pie.

I guess I'm afraid of him taking a single bite and having it taste like something Jill made. Oh the humiliation.

It is time for a bit of shut eye as I feel tomorrow night will not be an early one. I hate this pie. Damn it.

CURSE YOU, APPLE PIE!