Annie Jones on: Changing

I changed families today. I'm not sure I've ever had such a terrible emotion wash over me.... Joli started crying, Mom started crying, I started sobbing like an idiot. It sucked.

This family is very different. One, I'll be the only child again in 10 days. Two, I can do what I want, when I want. Three, I have a father. There's so much that's different.

Not only changing families, but everything around me seems to be changing. I feel so very 'the same' and it's wierd. It's supposed to be the biggest changing experience in your entire life, and I'm so...not changed. I can't explain it.

Of course, things have changed like my apperance, my homesickness.... But I still get that feeling all the time like "Just hand me a razor and I'll give it back to you in five minutes". It's not 'normal' (or so say most people I know). Today I was so close to cutting but I knew I had to hold myself back. I don't want to be sent home because I bled a little, then everyone would accuse me of being sick, and I'm not.

I can't imagine staying here for long. It all seems like a vacation (Without the bathing suit of course), like I'll go back to Barrio Jardín any day now...but it's not and it kinda sucks.

Tomorrow I plan on exploring this Barrio a bit. I have no idea what the hell is around here in reality. Like, a kiosco two blocks from here, and a BUS STOP!! Woot... ^_^*

Should sleep. Don't know if I can....

I wish February would hurry up and get here. I miss Robert and I want to see him now!