It seems as if I'm continuing to get more random the farther this year progresses. Valerie called me at about 4:30, asking me if I wanted to go see a movie. I said sure, but I had to be home by 9. No problem.

So we went to both cinemas in town and nothing was playing that we wanted to see until either 7 or 9. So we were driving around in her car and saying 'now what?'

Next thing that pops up is "Hey, let's go visit Tim!" Valerie is a little shaky about this, but I convince her to turn onto the road.

Tim showed us his horse, his cat, his sister (dear god she's adorable), his dog, and his truck. Well, I already knew about the truck. I decided to sit in the bed of it when we were talking. He lives on a farm, so it's really no wonder why his body is built the way it is.

I'd love to live on a farm, and with it being such a nice night and all, I was really jealous about him living on a farm. I wanted to live there too! All the stars are out tonight, and it's the exact kind of night I would want to have a boyfriend and have those innocent kisses without even thinking about sex or making out. That used to be all I thought about actually, but recently I find it kinda gross.

After that, we decided to go to dinner, but make a quick pit stop at her Grandma's house. Okay, so it really wasn't a quick pit stop. We spent 45 minutes there, talking about random stuff.

Dinner consisted to Pizza Hut and talking about Rick. How angry she is at him for always talking about me; how great I am and such. Truthfully, I'm getting sick of hearing it too. Right now, I want to hear how pretty I am and how much I mean to them from one person right now. Is that so much to ask?

"I just want to be friends." He says. I have enough friends. I have friends enough to keep me happy. I get 1-3 phone calls a night, even if they are mostly from the same person, that's enough to keep me happy. I don't want another friend, I want someone to contemplate the rest of my life with.

I'm honestly beginning to think it will never happen. To think that my love that is supposed to be out there somewhere and will one day come and be mine forever really got tired of waiting too. Maybe he's just like me; suicidal. Maybe he actually pulled it off. Damn you husband, how can you do it? Leave me here to rot and wonder what you were like in life.

Fuka jotted me a quick note the other day.

Annie,

Hi. I wanted to write you a letter. So I am. There is 13 days left (10 now...) and I'm really excited, but sad. There is a really big part of me that is scared. Scared that out friendship will wither away after I move. Even if it doesn't I wanted to let you know, you've changed my life. When I moced up here, my heart was bleak. There was void in my life where I needed a true friend. You filled that spot. Even when I was younger I was always lonely, looking for someone to trust. You have helped me open up my heart and learn to trust. For that I am forever greatful.

So if our friendship does not stand the move and you going to Italy, and the chnages yet to come, I wanted you to know that you will forever be in my heart....

I cried. I don't want her gone. She's my sister. I can't live without my sister. How am I going to live without her? My stomach is getting sick just thinking about it.

Ten days. Don't leave me Fuka.... I love you.