Sometimes it's so much fun to be a marcher, and other times you looks down from the bleachers, see people you once hung out with walking around, laughing, and having fun, it really sucks. That's probably my biggest problem with band, the lonliness that accompanies it.
It's a good thing Olivia and I aren't upset with each other anymore. That whole damn ordeal with Richard was such a pain in the ass. It's hard to believe that was two weeks ago. It feels more that two months ago.
Fuka's mom fought her custody battle finally, so she's leaving in 2 weeks and 5 days. She keeps telling me all the things she's going to do when she gets 'home'. I just smile and nod my head, keeping my mouth shut. If my teeth were to become unclenched, I'd yell at her. I'd tell her how every time she says she's leaving for good, it kills me a little. I hate this. It feels like I just met her, yet we talk to each other like we've been friends since the dawn of time.
Am I really such a bitch? I mean, am I seriously a true bitch? There's a difference between a real bitch and a girl with bitchy tendencies. A true blue would be self-centered, pushy, loud, rude, ya know, the works. While a tendency would be loud but sweet, pushy but a wimp, self-centered yet care for those around them.
Is there really a point to my ramblings? I suppose. Gee, it really does suck when a guy you genuinely want to be with says you're just a friend and a bitch. Erm, yeah. Thanks Linton.
Tomorrow night is dinner. At 7:30, we'll be going to Mongolian Barbecue. Meg, Micah, Valerie, Rick, Linton and myself makes for a table of six. I wish I didn't know Linton thought I was a bitch, nor that he doesn't even think of me beyond a friend. This will sure be interesting, won't it?
But there's nothing anyone can do. Opportunies come and go. It's better to have loved and lost...than to never have loved in the first place.
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