It's raining. It's such a simple sound that completely blankets me and now I feel safe. I haven't heard the rain in such a long time, and it's so soothing to hear it patter on the roof. I'm warm from my bath, and tired from sickness. I could fall into a sleep resembling a coma.

After running around so much this weekend and humming at such a high frequency, my sickness which I bitched about on Friday has caught up with me. I woke up this morning with my throat burning and coughing like no other. Mom sent me back to bed.

I just got finished reading the blog Rick and I used to share. I'm sure he thought I was never going to read it again, so I guess his took it as his own. I had no idea he felt some of the things he feels. I felt bad. I mean, he pisses me off to no end sometimes, but I really do understand where he comes from. He said he grieved for me. I'm sure that I wanted to be with Alex about as much as he wanted to be with me. I can relate to the pain he went through. It's hard when the person you love appears to want nothing to do with you.

I wanna be friends again.....

I have 44 people on my buddy list. I know that's nothing compared to many. My friend Greg has a buddy list of friend's up in the 100's. If I took everyone off of that list except for the people I talk to everytime we're both online, the list would dwindle to 10. Sad.

Of course, Alex's profile hasn't been updated since the turn of 2000. It says he's 13 an he goes to East Junior High, which we graduated from last year.

I can't find my scar remover. I need to get rid of these fuckers too, because I'm having surgery and they put in an IV. What if, while I'm sleeping, someone tells my Mom that I have all these scars all over my arms? It's not like you have to look really hard to see them. They're bright pink and very hard to miss. ~Sigh~ I'm required to wear short sleeves, and I'm getting it done on April 6. I've never had surgery. And I'm scared.