My brother Elias...there´s so many things I wasnt to say to him, but I can´t because he doesn´t understand me. I am not proficent enough to hold a conversation with my brother. I can ask him certain things, like if he wants to go for a walk, if wants more of something at dinner, if his friends are cming over, etc. I want to tell him so many things. I want to thank him for letting me be around him and hang out with his friends. I know I steal a little bit of his thunder. I´m sure he´s probably getting tired of me. And I lied to my mother about him...I have traces of feelings towards him, and it´s confusing me.

Ariana, I pulled something out of the dog, and it´s "what day is it today?" It´s Monday, the 23rd of August. When I pulled it out though, it was Tuesday, the 17th of August. I love you. You know that right?

Tefi, my sister, left for U.S.A. today. I never could understand my mother for trying to keep me at home while I had such a great experience ahead of me, but one look at Mamí, and I understood. All it took was a little observation, and suddenly I understood EVERYTHING.

Sometimes I have to wonder if my family really likes me. If my classmates actually like me. I wonder day in and day out what people actually think of me.

I find myself being restrained by my brain that people in Argentina think differently. I can´t hug all my brothers friends (whom I would consider friends as well) and kiss them on the cheek as I normally would in the United States. I have to do the classic Argentine star kiss or else I´m considered easy. Heather warned me that unless I make many girl friends, I will be considered the slut. I don´t have girl friends. I don´t make girl friends.

It´s confusing. I can do the Argentine kiss thing and make out with a guy in a disco (Heh...oops...) and never see him again and be considered completely normal, but I can´t hug my brother or his friends in the hallway at school?

Yeah...the disco mistake thing. He was drunk. I was tipsy. I don´t know how to say ´get off me you stupid bastard´ in Spanish.

I wish I could tell Elias how I feel, but I don´t want to fuck up anything that we have going. he´s a great brother, and even better friend. Have you noticed that when you like someone, you bottle it up. Eventually, you tell someone. They keep it a secret. You think "I don´t want to fuck up the relationship we have right now, so I´ll just keep my mouth shut." Eventually it just boils over and you risk your friendship and everything......

And they say ´they knew´...but they can´t return the feelings. I hate that. It happens nearly everytime.

I send my love to you all. Behave! All of you! Don´t make the disco mistake I made. ^_^*