Things seem so dark and dismal in the USA right now. I feel like there is this looming cloud over the USA, and something is going to happen. Something bad. My cousins are having a hard time in TC. Their mother just divorced and they were moved from their school 45 minutes away to a new school. Hannah cries everyday in class. They´re so young...how could anyone make them feel like this. Anyway, I wrote them a note. My little loves, Change is hard, and I know that just as much as you do. It´s scary going into things blindly, not knowing what to do or expect. I´m writing this to you from thousands of miles away from you right now. I´m scared. I don´t know what to do. It´s normal to be scared, and I´m so proud of you for being so brave. I love you both more than I could ever explain. You have brought me so much joy. Be strong you guys. You´ll make it. School will get better and so will life. Everbody has adjustment issues, but I feel like crying all the time. My heart hurts. I´m carrying this burden of missing home and then you factor in my unexpected falling in love, and I can´t take it anymore. Today is the first day of spring. It´s treated much like New Years is in the USA. My brothers both went out. So did my friends. Joli and I stayed home drinking mate and speaking english. I wish I would have gone out though. It´s not like I have another spring time here. When Joli and I went to the mall today, there was a woman floating around in a fairy costume playing the chimes to welcome spring. Kinda cool. Everyone is so excited to be away from winter, but winter isn´t winter without snow to me. I´ve crossed the one month mark. It scares me to think that I only have three more months with this family. I can´t move. I can´t. I love this family as my own. Like I was born into it. I forget that I wasn´t born by this mother and share common DNA with my siblings. God I hurt right now! Sometimes I wonder how I´ll make it. Even if I´ll make it. I know that in only 10 months I´ll look back on this and say "I did it!", but right now that road of uncertainty is so dark. I´m so lost and scared. All I want to do is get out of the storm of emotions and feel normal again. I remember being so upset that this family was my first. They didn´t seem interested in me at all. But now...now I am convinced I am the luckiest girl in the entire world because I´m with them.