A lousy day. I spent my morning eating junk food and playing Diamond, then went to work at five.

I'm not sure what made me explode, but I did. I found myself in the office not fifteen minutes after I arrived disolving in a pool of tears and rocking myself back and forth.

Alanna said she understands. She said "The person you love isn't the person you're in love with." Bingo. I cried harder when I realized that she did actually understand. I never wanted to stop. My hot tears cooled my burnt face. My rainy disposition brought me back where I needed to be.

Granted, I do love Ben. I love him very much. He treats me like a princess, and never lets me forget that I deserve it. He makes me feel worthwhile. Someone cares so deeply for me, and in such a short period of time. What a guy.... But I'm not in love with him. I simply love him.

I still wear this ring on my finger. Ben asked about it the other day. I told him the whole story; how it began with Zavy and how it still hasn't ended. He nodded like he understood, but I knew that his blood was boiling with jealousy. Us redheads can never lie about our jealousy. Our faces flush with anger. Of course, I felt terrible.

I sat in silence in his car. "...Do you want me to take it off?" I asked.

He shook his head. My heart sank deeper. What am I doing to him? Why am I hurting him like this?

A little free write now...

It had been a long day. I came home late after staying after hours to set up a network in the building. It was dark by the time I was able to leave, and I was annoyed. I would be going home to an empty house. My husband was on a business trip, and my daughter (the college freshman, and the only one that still lived with us) wouldn't be out of work until 'late'. I planned on just going to sleep the moment I got home instead of indulging in the silent house.

And sleep was what I did, not even bothering to change my clothes. I dreamless sleep, like the majority of my other nights. Nothing spectacular.

My alarm clock buzzed me back to consciousness at 5:45 am. As I rolled over, I saw that someone was in the bed with me. I was puzzled of course since my husband wasn't expected to come home for another two days. Her hair draped in front of her face, I saw it was my daughter. I brushed her hair from her face softly. She stirred.

"Good morning." I said.

She smiled sleepily.

"Did you have a bad dream?" I joked.

She shook her head. "I had a really bad night at work." She stopped and stretched a bit before looking up at me. "I didn't want to do anything stupid, so I figured I'd wake up next to someone worth waking up with."