None of this is going to make sense.

It's been a bad day. It's been a very lonely, quiet road. I hate myself for all the mistakes that I can't fix, but for some reason I feel guilty for forgiving myself. Can I wash my hands clean without feeling like I've done the worst thing in the world??

I wrote all over my body, in hopes of gaining some pride in myself. I free wrote, hardly paying attention to the words that came out. My left thigh surprised me. "You need to stay calm. You will be alright, and you need to love yourself. No one or nothing is so important to make you feel this miserable. You are a good person and you are worth it. Love yourself. Please, even if he doesn't."

My head is in the right place. So is my heart. I know I'm on the brink of something great. I know that I have so much potential in my life, but I don't know how to use it. Whenever I try, I get shot down.

I'm so done. I'm done trying. I'm done loving.... I can't anymore. It's all gone.

I love you. I can't even use the right words. There aren't any words that could ever come close to explaining it. I'm so sorry.... I wish I could fix it. I wish I could get out of your hair and you and I both could get on with out lives. You know what's funny? I thought today that I should just stop being around you. I wouldn't bother you anymore. You'd have a great life. I don't care about me anymore. I want you to be happy.

Stop it... please stop it. Make it stop hurting me so much. I'm just a girl... just a silly stupid girl with nothing but a dream and a prayer.

And you know what else I've been praying for? I pray that God would take my life in my sleep. I pray that no one would miss me, and I pray that everyone would live happily. I want everyone to be happy...!

Please don't judge me for this. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Just make this pain go away....