Gag me. What the hell could I have eaten that makes me feel this way? My intestines feel like someone id pressing on them. Oh well.

I work at a restraunt, in case you weren’t aware. I’m a hostess. Smile, “how many today?”, pick up menus, lead them to their table, NEXT CUSTOMERS! Recently I’m been working as a busser to fill in for Jack, the person who calls me Midget Bitch. I love Jack, he’s just so funny.

But I’m getting a full day bussing gig on Saturday. Can you say “Tips”? Hell I can pack my whole paycheck away this week just because of the tips the waitresses give you. And aren’t I lucky? I got it in good with the waitresses. To them I’m Stephanie “She’ll help you do whatever!” Jones. But as a busser, I’m Stephanie “She’s just so small, how can she carry that huge bus tub?” Jones. I heard Dawn and Laura talking about my efforts.

I couldn’t be a busser all the time. Could you imagine running to a table, grabbing anonymous people’s old and half masticated food and putting it in a bus tub? Not to mention their dirty silverware. I’m sorry, I just couldn’t do it.

But that’s the beauty of spur of the moment bussing that they pull on me! Standing behind the counter gets very boring when you do it from 7 am to 3 pm, especially on a Monday. Monday’s are hideously slow. I dunno, I just like spontaneous I guess (Kinda like in relationships).

One of the bussers I work with has known me for a while and he drives me crazy! His name is Anthony and he just pisses me off, so I try not to make eye contact with him. All the bussers were talking about the most daring thing we’ve ever done. I said: “It’s hard to explain, but I kinda flashed someone at a party.”

“Why wasn’t I there? Come one Steph, flash me now!” He said.

Oh my god, I bolted up front and become a happy hostess for the rest of the day.