I walked home today, like every day. Blocks of snow littered to sides of the roads. Huge blocks, the size of my head and sometimes larger.

I kicked them. I kicked each of them and said names aloud and pretended it was their head. Kick! Jake, for not calling me or getting in contact with me. Kick! Ashly, for hurting me and hurting James and taking what....should be mine (Actually, there were several I invisioned as Ashly). Kick! Zavy, for the feeling of betrayal.

And the next....Alex. I reared back my leg, and gritted my teeth angrilly. I stopped myself and stared down at the snow block. I jumped over it, and kept walking, leaving it in the road untouched.

I cried myself to sleep last night, and I prayed for about an hour. I prayed because I felt so guilty that I only pray when I need something. I prayed because I hurt so badly and who else could I talk to anyway. I couldn't call anyone. Who would listen?

Sigh. I should go....