You know you're a loser when you've written a sarcastic letter to a beginning theater class when you're bored.

So, you want to try this ‘Theater’ thing do ya? Got what it takes? Willing to stay up until ungodly hours just to get your part memorized? That’s good, because that’s taking it over the top just a pinch. Or a handful.

Theater is fun. You may be thinking: ‘Woohoo. It’s just a speech credit genius’. You’d be wrong in two ways. One, theater can actually let you find things inside of you you never thought were there, and two, I’m no genius.

You’ll be working for your part in the production from the first time you walk in through that door. Want a good part? Work for it. Show you care, if you don’t, you’re not going to be taken seriously at all. Didn’t get the part you wanted and you didn’t work for it? Then stop complaining. It’s your own fault you didn’t try.

And for god’s sake show up for class. Not only will you suffer from it grade wise, you’ll also make your classmates suffer practice wise. That’s not cool. You don’t want to be hated now do you?

Oh yeah. There are these little things called lines. Learn them. They are essential to the overall success to a performance. You may have all these professional actors up on stage, ready to go, but without lines you’re in a wee bit of trouble. Without lines, there is no plot, there are no characters, there is no story. Bing, bang, boom. “Woohoo I’m Leo DiCaprio (heart pounds madly) up on stage with nothing to say! The End!” Wanna watch that and not just rush the stage because he’s up there?

I think I’ve run out of things you fill your minds with. Thank god hmm? Do theater Nike style.

Just do it.