Okay, okay okay. So I realize I haven't written in a while. So sue me! I've been busy...sleeping okay?! Oh gee thanks for not even worrying about my surgery!

I'm gonna write a story now.

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Narrator is the omniscient god, and whatever she says, goes! The narrator is also called: "Me", since this Narrator is me. ^_^*

(Enter Jake, wearing a dashing emerald green sweater and khakis.)
Me: This is Jake.
Jake: Hi! I'm Jake.
Me: This is Jake's house.(A shack in the background is dropped from an airplane)
Jake: Now wait a second....
Me: You will shut up! I'm the story telling chick!
Jake: Okay. (He sulks)
Me: Okay! And Jake is damn lucky that he lives in such a nice house because his house just so happens to be located in a ghetto's dump. (Jake glares) Jake is also a farmer.
Jake: (Clothes suddenly change to overalls and a very unattractive plaid shirt) Oh! You're just being a difficult!
Me: Aren't I?! And this is Jacob's preachy bitch...Megan!
Megan: (Dropped from an airplane, wearing a pink plaid farm dress, a white apron, and clutching a rolling pin) I'm a preachy bitch!
Me: That you are! (Sighs happily) And these are Jake's 20 children. (Numerous children appear, all squabbling mercilessly)
Jake: Twenty kids? Hey, that means I scored a lot. That's not so bad!
Me: Yes, but your preachy bitch gave you many STD's because she's dirty!
Jake: I'm really starting to regret I used her....
Me: One day Jake is walking along the road in the ghetto and whistling happily. (Jake does just that) Then suddenly he's jumped!
Jake: (Screaming like a girl) Take anything I have, which isn't much because I live in a ghetto dump!
Me: I almost feel bad.......Oh wait I forgot that I really don't. So then he continue's to go to work after being jumped and when he get's there, he's like a busy little beaver!
Jake: Look at me! I'm a hard worker!
Me: You have to be hard worker in order to lie like you did.
Jake: (Throws down rake) Oh get over it!
Me: Grow a dick. (Megan has replaced the ball on a paddleball and Narrator continues to whack her with paddle) The bell rings to signal work is over.
Jake: Finally.
Me:While walking home, our clumsy little Jacob slips and fall on the sidewalk and shatters his testicles! Much blood comes out through his eyes and mouth and he screams bloody murder. THANKS ZAVY! In the process, he is mugged of his paycheck for 15 dollars he recieved today to feed his preachy bitch and 20 children.
Megan: (Still being hit with a paddle on a string) I'm a preachy bitch.
Me: We know. Jake returns to his home and falls asleep on his couch because his crabs are really getting on his nerves tonight.
Jake: (with a hand down his pants) Itchy.
Me: Sleep well my little pet.

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It's my way of venting yo.