I'm in love with him.Why am I so happy? It's almost scary how happy I am almost all the time. The only time I get depressed or really pissed is when little Miss Merideth comes around.

Little Miss Merideth went out with him only a few days after we broke up. She rubbed it in my face so terribly, I swear that I would have shot her if she wouldn't have shut up the exact moment I told her to.

Ariana (my best friend at the time) had Merideth over for a sleepover as well. I'd recently felt EXTREMELY replaced by Merideth since they're always together and laughing.

Merideth knew something about him and refused to tell me. After an hour I gave up and talked to Sabrina for a while.

Sabrina and I talked from 12-1 am making up theories about why he and I broke up and decide not to go out again. We figured it out. He was afraid that if he were to break up with me later I'd hurt myself. I don't blame him. This is very typical of me.

Merideth told me as soon as I said I was gonna ask him for a second chance. My plan was perfect. Absolutely fool-proof. I know his weaknesses, and his strengths. I know today that it would still work.

He liked her. Merideth said she wanted to keep it a secret as long as possible because longer the secret is kept, the more it would hurt me. Ariana was in on it too. I lost two of my best friends over night. I cried myself to sleep and didn't eat for days.

I still want to kill her. Atleast he's noticing me a lot again. Who am I kidding? He'll never love me again. Big deal...Indeed it is.