I’m really not sure if I’ve been so physically drained in my life. Today was a long day, as was yesterday. It’s been a long week I suppose.

So Olivia…I really don’t know what I’m supposed to do about her. She’s going to homecoming with…guess who? Richard. When I found this out, I nearly threw up on site and scene. This was on Thursday.

I also had my road test on Thursday and he failed me because I can’t parallel park worth shit. Within 10 minutes, I was failed. I detest that man….

Today, I was expecting everything to suck, but I am damn lucky that yesterday wasn’t like today in its entirety.

After the football game, I went to a party. It was a band party, and I must say I was very sorely disappointed that Richard showed up, and my friend Tim didn’t. It’s really too bad Tim was in a really shitty mood because of our awful performance (he’s a section leader and will get his ass chewed off).

Rick, a trumpet play I’ve known likes me for a while…was there. He slipped his arms around me and I just sat there. I didn’t know what to do. I mean, of course I like him…he’s a nice guy. But I don’t think I could start a relationship with him. I just broke up with Justin yesterday.

Then all of a sudden, he asks me out. I didn’t know what to say at all. So I stumbled this out in some shape or form.

I want to be with Linton. He’s a nice guy, and I asked him to homecoming today.

“Hey Linton, come here.” I said to him at lunch. He approached me and smiled. “We don’t know each other very well…but do you want to go to homecoming with me?”

He smiled. “I’ll think about it.”

WHAT DOES IT MEAN?! ‘I’ll think about it’. Then just walk away; leaving me there, with my bag slung over my shoulder, my flute and lunch bag in hand. You’re a senior Linton, I know that. But I really am genuinely interested in you!

I’m genuinely interested in a lot of guys lately I guess. I need to figure out what the hell I’m doing. If I had one serious boyfriend, all of this interest in so many guys would end.

I’ll admit it. Even if Richard is being a complete ass and Olivia an entire bitch, I want to be with Richard. Linton is an extremely close second, if not a tie. The rest is a muddle of people. Zavy (whom I still want to be with, but I feel as if it will never work), Tim, yes, even sometimes Fuka and Olivia.

It’s hard to explain Olivia and Fuka. They both make me feel better about myself like he used to. Olivia has more of that effect on me that Fuka. Last year, it was all Fuka though.

Rotary Interview is tomorrow. If I don't make it, I will lock myself in my room and never come out.

No more explaining. No more thinking. Goodnight.