It was bound to happen. I'm surprised that it took this long, really. It's like it was written out in the stars. I've fallen for Zavy. I haven't had a blushing, smile sweetly, giggle when talking about it kind of crush since him. It's kind of nice to feel.

I know it's a definate one way thing. He has a girlfriend, who, like myself, cuts herself. I really want to be with him. I know that I'd be overjoyed with him, but Caitlin (his girlfriend) can't be hurt. I couldn't live with myself if she were hurt by me or someone else.

Zavy has been acting really confused and depressed lately. It's almost as if I rubbed off on him and he's become like me. He's normally so happy! He explains it as living in a bubble, and everything inside that bubble is happy. Is it possible that I said something to pop the bubble and suddenly all the shit I see in life totally shocked him and got him down? God...I really hope not.

He wrote me letters on some photos of the play he gave me. I keep them in my diary.

He gave me his number.

I stared at it for a long time. 'Phone number? Wait, his phone number?! What am I supposed to do?' I thought.

So I asked the person that knows best about relationships that I know, Miss Katrina Graves. She said I need to call him, and not to be nervous because we're good friends already.

But to call Zavy? Sure, I mean he is one of my best friends in the world, but he must be the best known guy in the 9th grade. I'm not a loser, but I'm not anyone overly important in the whole scheme of things. I have friends, but to the school, I'm like a shadow. A filler for space if you will.

Besides, what would I say? I'm usually cool about the phone, but I'm afraid I'll go say something stupid or try to be someone I'm not. I'm a good actress, but I can't keep up an act to be someone I'm not for the rest of my life. True, I've wanted to call him and spend time with him more than we already have been, but the internet is convienient I guess. I can always backspace my errors.

Men are facinating creatures. I remember calling him for the first time after giving me his number, and he asked me why I was calling.

"You told me to..." I said.

DAMMIT! HE SCARRED ME FOR LIFE!