Acting is so cool. I'm gonna miss the play.

Shere Khan was so sweet in the play, man. Tonight was nearly total improv. He did Kung Foo on the stage with Father Wolf. Hot damn tonight was fun.

I even got new friday pants. I had everyone sign them and I'll wear them on Monday for my birthday. Kevin put a little heart by his name. ^_^* I'm sure it means nothing, but it made me feel special. I think I have a little bit of a crush on him. Just a little one though.

I don't want the play to end, man. I've had way too much fun. the cast party kicked ass. Brian dreaded a part of my hair, and we played poker and I had nearly zero luck tonight. I won about two games out of about 20.

So...tomorrow is Monday...and my birthday. I'll be 16. Finally. I'm so sick of having zero freedom. Car keys, coffee, and boyfriends...I hate having Jake so far away. It's his birthday too.

I keep telling myself that I love Jake, and I have no doubt that I do love him, but it's so hard. He lives about 2 1/2 hours from here, and calling long distance is a bitch, not to mention expensive.

Christ, listen to me! I'm trying to talk myself out of Jake just because he lives far away. When I talked to him for the first time, I thought "I am going to marry him". I am. I'll marry him. We've already had sex.

The way I see it is: "If he cheats on me, he's gone". I can't put up with cheaters. I have so much to give, and if I give it to a stupid boy who uses me, fuck him and next victim.

I'm just being all stupid because of Kevin. Sure, I have a touch of a crush, and I think he's really cute, but Jake is my boyfriend, and I know he loves me...I think.

~Burries face in hands~ I'm getting so confused. Just give me my keys and license bitch!