Little Sister has problems. She’s two months old, but she still won’t eat. She’s always falling asleep in the middle of meals and never finishes them. She has to drink from the bottle because breast-feeding is too much effort, and even out of the bottle it’s too much effort. I’m very scared. She’s the last little family member I’ll ever get until I have a child. Forgive me Andrew my love, but I have to focus on little sister right now. I feel terrible for saying this, but Little Sister is alive, and you sweetheart, are just a dream.

Little Sister has to go to a neurologist. She may have brain damage. I fear the worst. I’m scared beyond all belief. I love this little girl. She’s my sweetheart. I have no idea what in hell I’ll do if something is wrong with her.

I have a scar by my left eye, underneath it. It's not very visible, but it's there. It was recently made when I was cleaning the ice off my car with a power sprayer and an ice shard came up and hit me there. If I were any shorter, than it would have hit my eye. It hit with such an impact that I probably would have lost my left eye. Coincidence? I really wonder sometimes.

There was a movie tonight at the church. I had to cook popcorn and serve it. When the movie was done, I had to drive a mentally retarded couple home. I nearly screamed. I wanted to stop the car in the middle of the road and tell them to GET OUT. Why did God make retarded people so damn irritating?!

It snowed last night and all day on and off today. The roads are now covered in snow and the temperature dropped from 45 degrees to zero. I have to get the moped up and running again to make sure it doesn't die.

I wish the hot tub was up and running. I could sit in the hot water and fall asleep. I want the worries of the world to go away.

Alexa Cathrine, I love you beyond what you could think of. Please be okay darling...please.