Boredom has taken a firm grasp on my life and it’s jerking me around by the hair. I’m almost looking forward to going to school tomorrow. Only 12 more days until I’m out of the middle school format of things and I’m finally up at the high school.

I’ll be marching with my piccolo (I really hope. I’m telling my major/majorette I don’t have a flute. I’m not a liar! My mother told me to say that…) as a true Trojan. I’m going to burn everything, including papers I still have from the 7th grade. Not to mention, I’m gonna flip off my principal for being such a prick. June 13th, I can’t wait.

It is terribly bittersweet though. I have a bunch of wonderful memories at East. I remember so many things; I can’t even list them all. Him, Kyle, Bryan (moving away from guys), band, Spanish with Senora Herzberg and Mahan, Mr. Bell, being taken off of my depression pills, being diagnosed with depression, play try-outs with Zavy, play call-backs, being told I was in the play, West cast with Laney, Chris, Dennis and Zavy, Dun cast with Maddy, light crew with him, lunches at the table, mornings in my science rooms, anti-farewell freshmen, asked to farewell freshmen, going to farewell freshmen, karaoke in the gym, three dried red roses in my room, football games, Bryan getting drunk, cheering David, #85 on because I was head over heels in love with him at football games, meeting Kendall….There is so much more. So very much more…I should make a complete list.

“All things must come and go,
They will dissipate and die.
And irony! It’s how this feels,
It’s like I’m empty inside.”

Me
6th grade, my farewell poem to elementary school

Do you remember at the beginning of the year in elementary school when you got all your new sharp pencils, new ruler, new notebooks, new bottle of glue, blah, blah, blah? Remember about halfway through the year you get really bored in class and began making a glue ball with that glue? I recently bought a bottle of glue and began another glue ball. I’ve never gotten one this big before. When I was in class, I always got mine taken away, so they got up to the size of a dime if I was lucky. This one is bigger than a quarter and is approaching half dollar size. I’m such a lame ass.

I saw him yesterday at the mall with another girl. The girl is a friend of mine. Her name is Bridgett. Mother pointed them out to me and she said I turned white as snow, except for my jaw line, which was a bright red. They waved to me. “Go in and talk to him Steph…” She said.

“No. I can’t.” I said.

“Why not?” She asked.

Yes indeed, why not? I was scared. I was afraid for the very worst. He wasn’t going out with…. no. Of course not! He wouldn't! Heh…yes he would. I took a hard right and went into the store. We talked for a little bit.

And I told him about Rick. He was cool about it, but Bridgett seemed…well…somewhat jealous. She did after all go to Farewell with him. I don’t know what made me do it. Yes, I suppose I do. Complete, total, and utter jealousy. I wanted to be the one who was there with him, hanging out at the mall with him and I wasn’t. I was with my god-forsaken mother! We never do anything together anymore. That ended when we ended.

He said he saw Colt there too. He didn’t mention me. We’re fighting, Colt and I. He’s pissed that I got him to admit he likes me, pissed that I’m going out with Rick, pissed that I’m right about him being a chicken shit when it comes to girls…. Almost everything it seems.

And I raise my glass. Here’s to adolescence.