There was a stabbing in a little town about 60 minutes away from here by car. A man was supposedly pumping gas or something and a man came up behind him and stabbed him 39 times. The man is dead, and my mother went to school with him.

On a lighter side, I recieved a letter.

Dear Stephanie,

I am very please to inform you that the District 6290 Youth Exchange Committee has approved your appplication to be a Rotary Youth Exchange Student. Congratulations!

So I made it! I wonder what Jake is doing, where he is, if he got his letter.... I can't stop thinking about him. Is he the one?! I can't believe I'm saying this....but I really think he might be! How exciting do you think that is? My mom said that she knew that she wanted to be in his life the second she met my dad, and I feel that way towards Jake. Could be possibly feel the same way? Who knows. I just want a phone call right now.

Jake couldn't possibly not make it right? I mean, he's the perfect canidate. He's a drum major, a genius alto sax player, an actor, and his grades are better than I could achieve. I'm so jealous of him, and if any other girl had him, I think I'd just about die. How did I get so lucky? Why in hell did he choose me?

We talked about moving in together when I get out of school, possibly even get married. Married? I haven't talked about getting married since I broke up with him. And kids? We've even briefly touched on that subject.

Save the whole speech on the fact that I'm 'just a kid', because I know very damn well what I'm doing. Ask anyone I know, if I'm going to commit to something, I stick with it. That may be part of my depression/bipolar/suicide problem.... But I don't give up and I believe in second chances and all that good shit. I have the personality to make anything work it seems.

Augh, I'm so incredibly taken with this boy, it's like I'm blind.