I feel sick. The sick that you feel when you're going to go down a roller coaster and you're nervous beyond all belief. I'm nervous, and I have no idea why. I feel like something is wrong. Like there may be something wrong with my friends. The last time I felt this way, my mom was rushed into the hospital. Christ, I don't know what in hell I'd do if something went wrong with my friends. I'm afraid that if it were anyone, it'd be Kendall.

I haven't talked to her for almost 3 weeks now. She's not at school (and she couldn't be avoiding me because we have classes together), she's not home, and when I leave messages at her house, she won't return them. She always returns her phone calls.

It's possible I feel left out and I'm just getting sick from that. It sounds likely. Envy makes me sick to me stomach. Like when little miss Meri told me he liked her. I was throwing up every half hour for days. I'll leave you with that morbid little thought.