It’s very cold here in Michigan. I can’t believe that our highs lately are in the single digits. I chose out of everything in my closet to wear a short sleeve shirt. Smart. Very smart. If he was there today, I would have stolen his sweatshirt so I wouldn’t be so freezing. Then of course he’d take it back after two minutes because he’s cold.

I had my first time in my new Spanish class. Sure, it was great to get out of that hell hole of Sra. Tamara’s class, but I felt so self conscious. People were looking at me like “What the hell is SHE doing here? She doesn’t belong here.”

Of course I don’t belong here. I don’t belong anywhere but for some apparent reason, I’m still alive. Oh don’t worry guys, I don’t like it any better than you do.

At lunch today, people went around saying out of all the guys sitting at the table, who they thought had the biggest dick in order. Somehow everyone thought he was biggest.

I wouldn’t doubt it in the least.

Then came who would they rather have sex with. Yet again, everyone picked him first. I felt an alarm going off in my head. I felt like I should be worried, but then realized that he isn’t my man anymore. I shouldn’t worry who he has sex with, even though I really want my first to be him.

Is there something they won’t tell me because I’m insane and would go on a shooting rampage if I found out that he was having sex without telling me? Maybe it’s just the fact that they don’t like me. Maybe it’s how I’m still in mourning. Maybe I should stop thinking.