You know how I said that Kendall came back? It's still really great. I've never been so happy to have someone back. (okay, maybe once...) But after a month of not talking to each other, it feels likes I'm not her best friend anymore. Sure, she's my best friend and everything, but it feels like she has better people to be around than yours truely. I know it's childish, talking about how jealous I am about me not being her best friend. Stupid stupid stupid!!!

The longer she's around me though, the more attracted I get again. It's disgusting. I hate myself. It's only when I'm around her though. It's not when I'm at home or even thinking about her.

I don't want to be in love with him anymore. How can I stop?? I need to stop loving him. I hate it.

I'll listen to him though. I won't cut myself if he doesn't want me to. I owe it to him....