I promised him that I wouldn’t cut myself and right now, I’m shaking like a leaf in hurricane force winds. I need it. It’s become a sick addiction.

I pierced my belly button on Monday night and my mom just found out. I got so embarresed that I ran out of the room crying. I wanted/want to die so badly it’s like I can hear the razor in the little pink box above my computer screen scream my name. I can’t take it. I need to slice myself.

‘But you can’t Steph.’ I can hear his calm voice that seems so sweet, and yet so panicked. ‘You promised me, love, that you wouldn’t do it. Don’t it love, don’t do it for me.’

Why does that boy always get the better of me? It’s like I do EVERYTHING he says. I’ve never done it for anyone else. Not even my parents (my belly button is proof of that).

I don't want to break my promise to him because it'll make him happy, but on the other hand, I do because I'll get attention from him, and he'll talk to me again. I mean one on one talk.